1/27/2007

Insecurities. Why do they affect us so?

I have to get up at 7 tomorrow in order to go to my FIRST Drivers Ed class. I'm really nervous. It's a six hour long class. It starts at 9 and goes till 4 with only a thirty minute break in between. For once, i'm glad i'm attending COACH. Going tomorrow would be almost impossible if COACH clasess wouldn't have been taking place over the last year. Now that I have some experiance in a classroom I think i'll be better off.

However, i'm still extremelly scared. Sitting in a room with 14 strangers for six hours doesn't bring comfort to me. Also having to introduce myself to these 14 strangers, not including the teacher who I don't know. It's not easy; Having to tell the people within the classroom my hobies, what I enjoy doing, why I want to drive and in doing so having to speak out loud in front of 15 people who are scared and insecure themselves.

I wonder why I make such a big deal out of sitting in a classroom with kids who are my age, with kids who are no different than me. I guess we all do. I think it's absurd. Particularly when one students name is called and they sink into their chair and talk in a soft voice as if they're telling their life story, when they're simply saying their name, age and grade.

Be praying that I can have strength for tomorrow.
Instead of going to a classroom and acting as the average insecure student is what I don't want to do. I wanna be able to talk to the teenagers around me and get to know them during the lunch break instead of starting at my sandwich and acting as if i'm not there.

Be praying for me! I'm not really as nervous as this post might come off. It's more of I want to become less insecure when in a classroom. Not only would it help others around me feel more comfortable, it'd also help other situations I have to be in throughout life. It'd also have me more focused on the learning rather than sitting their nervously wondering if I look stupid to other people in the classroom. I think we all do this. I like to be honest about what I do because I like to let everybody around me know their not alone in their foolishness and weaknessess.

We all have them. Insecurity is one of my biggest ones. Tomorrow i'd l'ike to be different. For many reasons I don't want to even get into talking about. It'd take to long.

Just be praying for me that all would go well and that I wouldn't have to be the ordinary teenager that steps through the classroom door.

I'm not going to allow comments for this post because I honestly think that nobody will have anything to say. Simply because it's just a weird post that I myself wouldn't know what to reply with. I simply posted it for prayer. That's all.

Love you all!

Lora. Jayne at 9:18 PM