3/05/2007

Hollow and pointless routines

As I sit here staring at this screen I wonder why i'm here. I wonder why i'm here wasting minutes upon minutes while frying my brain and limiting myself to such a shallow life. We have so many distractions, so much media to destroy us and controll us. We add watching tv, playing the x-box, getting on the computer for hours upon hours into our daily routine. We've become absent to these idols and how negatively they affect us and our lives. I feel like picking up this computer and throwing it over my balcony. I spend all my life here and I am wasted and brain-washed and blind because of it. The computer sort of limits my activities and what I do at home. Anotherwards, it makes anything else I put time into seem hollow, when really, the computer is what's hollow and pointless. I've been trying to spend time doing things worthy of time, such as drawing, writing and reading. Yet sometimes, i'm careless and I just want to waste my time while falling even more into this coma. I want to pay attention to nothing. And I just want to block the world out. However, I have been spending more time reading books. Probably 4 hours a day, which is really good for me. Yet I still have this computer down here. Waiting for me to waste my time on it.

And now I come to my main point for this post:
I don't understand why a blank screen can be so addicting. I don't understand how we can be so utterly stupid and live for idols that will leave us empty-handed. How do we live for things that have no purpose and only waste our lives as the clock is counting down the minutes till our death? Why don't we live our purposes and make a impact instead of staring at blank screens?

Be praying for me, I'm in a bad mood for a lot of complicated reasons. Also, be praying for Eric. I'm not going to allow comments on this post, because this post is just as pointless and as hollow as our un-lived lives are. Well, I don't know about yours. You could be living life to it's fullest and living for God as best as you can. As for me, I know this post is as pointless as my life.

Goodnight, I hope this post has given you something to think about.
I'm going upstairs to read Ted Dekker books.

Lora. Jayne at 7:36 PM