12/21/2006
Merry Jesusmas
I love the Hills. Thanks to them, I never say Merry Christmas anymore.
It's always Merry Jesusmas! Ever sense they called it that, I have too.
They're such an amazing family.
So, schools officially out! Today was my last day.
Im'a stay up late and watch Jesusmas movies with my phat family!
So, Ryan and Carissa are coming down from Texas on Friday! I'm pretty pumped.
I haven't seen my brother Ryan or sister-in-law Carissa for like, a year. So It'll be nice.
I'm really looking foward to this year, more than I ussually do when it comes to this time. I think it's because i'm happier than I was the last couple of years when Christmas came around.
It's because i've simply chose to be happy instead of miserable.
I've realized that you have to live life as it is, not as you want it to be.
I've been trying to live this out. I've been trying to keep in mind that
I have a good life and i'm blessed with amazing friends and a amazing family.
I've been trying to be happy. It's so hard sometimes, but it's worth trying.
I've realized you can lose everything when your hopelessly down.
When you don't try to even have hope, you lose the chance of getting out.
I don't know how to explain it, all I know is that i'm done being down and being in a hole.
Even if I still feel that i'm there, i'm not going to live in there. Because I don't have to.
I can be happy, no matter the circumstance. Of course, not by my own power.
By trusting in God, and knowing he's got me here for a reason.
Even if I might hate God, or feel i'm not even saved.
I know there's gotta be a God. As soon as I decided to put my trust in him,
I've felt this sort of peace that I haven't felt for....my whole life.
I'm doing really good right now. I just hope I won't be stupid and start to lose hope again.
Really? There's always hope. I hate it when I get down. It's really selfish of me.
I guess life all comes down to trusting in God.
My brother Ryan would always say that to me, but I never got it untill now.
I now understand why it's so important.
I have one prayer request.
Pray that I won't be stupid.
Pray i'll ignore my stupid emotions and live in the darkness anyways while trusting in God.
Even if I hate God or believe he's unreal sometimes.
I need lots of prayer. I'm somewhat on my feet. I haven't been on my feet for like, two years.
I need prayer for this. I do not want to fall back down. I hate it when I get depressed.
I don't even know how I get so depressed with all the good things I have.
Just be praying that I won't be stupid.
I love you all so much! Thanks for being my friend.
Thanks for leaving me comments on this stupid blog.
I hope everybody has a wonderful Jesusmas! Never forget what this season is all about.
Lora. Jayne at 1:55 AM
3 Comments
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at Thursday, December 21, 2006
said... The pathway is broken
And The signs are unclear
And I don't know the reason why You brought me here
But just because You love me the way that You do
I'm gonna walk through the valley
If You want me to
Chorus:
Cause I'm not who I was
When I took my first step
And I'm clinging to the promise You're not through with me yet
so if all of these trials bring me closer to you
Then I will go through the fire
If You want me to
It may not be the way I would have chosen
When you lead me through a world that's not my home
But You never said it would be easy
You only said I'd never go alone
So When the whole world turns against me
And I'm all by myself
And I can't hear You answer my cries for help
I'll remember the suffering Your love put You through
And I will go through the valley
If You want me to
When I cross over Jordan,
I'm gonna sing, gonna shout
I'm gonna look into Your eyes and see
You never let me down
So take me on the pathway that will lead me home to You
And I will walk through the valley
If You want me to
Yes, I will walk through the valley
If You want me to
If You Want Me To, Ginny Owens-
at Friday, December 22, 2006
said...
YEY LOR! U sound like your doin so much better! i lov u so much.
for the times ur feeling down. just try and realize "it's life" its not gunna come easy. ull always struggle with being happy. or satsifeid. with some people being happy comes easier than with others. i think u struggle with being hapy. but thats okay. I think party y ur always so down is becuase its kind of a disorder in ur fam. ryan went through it ur mom did too right? anyways just because u have a harder time with being happy then others doesnt mean u can be happy just as others are. u chose weither U want to be happy or not.
i lov u lora. gods gunna get u through this. i know u still dont know where u stand with him. but trust me when i say youll find it out sooner or later. gods not just leving you here. hes preparing u.
lov u lora!!!!!!!!!-
at Friday, December 22, 2006
said...
ps: ill b praying 2!!! lov u
