1/26/2007
Why can't we be different?
I know cause I've tried to fill it up with foolish pride
And You go and You take my trophies off the ledges
Idols I had kept instead of wanting what was real
I know that I've worn a thousand costumes in my life
Yes I know so that no one else could see me deep inside
And You go and peel away from the perfect faces
Dust me off and then you say it's time to be yourself
And like a bird I want to fly away from here
Don't want to look inside this broken heart of mine
It's then when I realize I've been wasting all my time
Why am I this way?
Why are we this way?
Today at COACH I realized that the ones ignored and left out are the ones that need someone most. We talk to the ones we find pleasure in talking to. We talk to the people we put on our cool list. Everyone else is nothing to us. Although they're just the same, and no different from us, we treat them as if they're nothing.
Why do we fill our hearts with temporary pleasures even after knowing they bring no purpose? Why do we neglected the only reality worth living?
We were meant to live for so much more.
God created us to fufill all these many purposes.
Yet we only live to please ourselves.
When we suffer and when our selfish lives aren't picture perfect, we hate God and blame him for it all.
When really? We suffer because we've pulled ourselves away from God.
We're the ones at fault.
It's because of all the idols we find to replace God.
Because of all the stupid time we spend focusing on our needs.
It's things like this that make us suffer.
We live in a fallen world. This world has nothing for us yet we come to it for everything. I wish I could change yet i'm down here with everybody else. It's beggining to get to me. I think i've realized that why I haven't found God is simply because i'm surrounded by so many things that keep me from finding him & reality.
I hated COACH today. It brought me down so much just to see how horribly we live. How stupid we are to focus SO much on this life. I HATE IT how we're so focused on how WE feel and if WE are happy or not. I hate it how WE talk to only people WE want to talk to. I hate it how we live this life as if it's ours to live and as if it's eternal.
I wish I could have joy through pain. I should be able too. We all should. Why? Because this isn't our life to live. We're here for God. Not ourselves. Secondly, this lives temporary. Anything we feel during our lives won't even matter or be remembered in the next life. If anything, following our emotions and living by HOW WE FEEL will waste all our time and keep us from doing the things we're supposed to do.
I'm sick of being stuck here with everyone else. I want to break free...
Yet this is all i've ever known.
It's like i'm blind and there's no way for me to be able to see.
It's the same for almost every Christian out there.
Why do we allow ourselves to suffer so? Why do we allow ourselves to fall within this fallen world? We were meant to live for so much more, & we've lost ourselves completely.
I'd love to hear them.
pic of the day:
Aly is amazing. She's one of my bestest friends ever.I don't know what i'd do without her.
Lora. Jayne at 12:39 AM
4 Comments
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at Friday, January 26, 2007
said... Hola Lora,
I agree.... well I agree mostly. Until you said we wouldn't remember any of this in Heaven, I beleive we will. Even in Revelation the saints cry out to God for retribution, meaning they really remember being martyred, and it's bugging them. BUT. That wasn't your point, just me going off on my favorite obsession, it being Heaven... ahem.
As for what you are saying, I've thought this a lot to.. I mean why on earth do I sit in my room crying and wishing I wasn't existing when my sole purpose is to love and bring glory to God. Why on earth do I let myself get ensnared in this trap of lies that says I am supposed to "be" something. What on earth am I supposed to be.. what if ALREADY am. I am just not doing anything with it...
I have realized this a lot lately. I am one of those people who has the great and amazing ability to be really moody, and see the entire world as black. I don't reccomend it, and then sometimes nothing affects me. It's just me and Jesus.. and I wonder.. why can't I be like that all the time.. and it's cause I am selfish. Cause in reality when I am like that things hurt me MORE, cause I am thinking about something other than me.. and yeah.
That was just a bunch of random words. Forgive me for talking too much, I tend towards it. ^^
<3 shandi-
at Saturday, January 27, 2007
Lora. Jayne said... Hey Shandi,
I didn't mean to come off as I didn't believe we wouldn't remember this life while we're in heaven...I actually believe we'll remember every emotion, every pain, ever tear that runs down our cheek.
Let me restate what I was trying to say;
I meant that when we're in heaven we won't be looking upon some memorable life if we're always following our emotions. It's a life full of faith that will be remembered. A life that's lived on faith and only faith. A life that's dependent upon faith and not oxygen. Does this make more sense?
I guess I need to re-write that sentence. Sometimes my thoughts are written out with a completely different meaning that I dissagree with. I try to say one thing yet I come off as saying something opposite.
Well, I have to go. Thanks for pointing that out.
I agree with you completely.
I like your thoughts about heaven and what you feel we'll see when we look upon our previous lived life.
Thanks for the comment Shandi. I absolutely love comments. Never feel un-welcomed to leave one. I love your comments! You always have lots to say. I love your thoughts. They relate to a lot of mine.
Thanks!-
at Saturday, January 27, 2007
Lora. Jayne said...
ps: you weren't talking to much! And even if you were talking to much, it wouldn't bother me! I loved reading every word you typed. You are full of wisdom and knowllege!
Have a great week shandi!-
at Saturday, January 27, 2007
said...
Ahhh I see! ^^ I can hardly wait til Heaven... (has so many things planned) I am rather odd. Well that isn't quite true. I am VERY odd.
I admit I feel self concious being one of the few people to comment here, and I always go on and on for these incredibly long periods of time.. not that I am any different in "real" life though.
Which is really very weird, since I am one of those people who walks up to total strangers just cause she feels like talking. I have creeped far too many people out. And I am not planning on stopping any time soon either.. yes random information about myself. Let's all cheer wildly.
You poetry amazes me. You are one of those people who writes poems that leave me muttering "Why didn't I think of that!!". In other words you are AMAZING. I have actually gotten some of my poetry published. O_O It's a tad creepy... I mean I am no longer a little invisagirl. Yes... enough of me. Anyways.
You also draw with depth. I mean anyone with talent can scribble something on a page, but your drawings tell stories... they express what words cannot. They dream, and cry and whisper love and wisdom, passion grace.. beauty. Not to mention the fact that you yourself are entirely amazing, gorgeous and just... awe inspiring. Now I sound like a stalker... ><.
Oookay on that terrifying note I shall leave... -grins-
~Shandi
