5/16/2007
Poems, prayers & promises.
The days they pass so quickly now, the nights are seldom long. Time around me whispers when it's cold. The changes always frighten me, still I have to smile. How good it can be to talk of poems and prayers and promises and things that we believe in. How bad it is when all that we dreamed of is broken and consists of the contrary of what was imagined it'd be, leaving us far from dreaming, because it's over.
So many thoughts to say yet so little time.
The clock is winding down. Each word typed is another second gone by.
The fear that is within you now that seems to never end,
and the dreams that have escaped you and the hope that you've forgotten,
it seems to far gone, to far gone.
Though the cities start to crumble and the towers fall around us,
we shall not fall, we shall win this battle, stand by me on the front line.
We'll win to lose and lose to win.
We'll fight and we will not give in.
Emotions mean nothing, though it seems they determine how you should feel.
Do not follow them, otherwise you'll never experience joy, which is real unlike happiness.
In a world like this, I know it's hard.
However, in a world like this, we will overcome what we've always known to be overpowering.
Why so many lost souls? Why so much hopelessness?
Even I forget daily of all the hope I have. Of all the blessings I have. Of all the love I have to offer to the less fortunate. I frown as if I am one of the less fortunate. However, I am not. You are not. We are not the less fortunate.
The children dying in Uganda and starving to death while having as little as a cloth to cover their broken bodies are the ones who are less fortunate.
The homeless and un-loved individuals who scavenger for crumbs of bread out on the street are the ones who are the less fortunate.
The orphans who don't even know their real parents and are sent to a house with parents unknown to their every thought and memory and who abuse their bodies every day are the ones who are the less fortunate.
I am ashamed at this moment. While thinking about all of the suffering souls, I still pitty myself.
Yet what do I have to complain about?
NOTHING.
None of us do.
Maybe we have loneliness issues, who doesn't?
Maybe we're scared, who isn't?
Maybe we're broken from past failures and sins or we don't have very many friends.
However, we do have the very God who created us on our side.
And that overpowers any sort of evil, loneliness, brokenness, jealousy, struggle, sin, etc..
Why have we fallen so far?
People such as I should be rejoicing to live in such a blessed life as this one.
Yet I waste away each minute as quickly as I type another word onto this worthless screen that I consume three hours out of every day that I waste.
I will not give up and I will not give in.
What doesn't kill me will only make me stronger.
No wonder why I've been through so much the last three years.
God HAS to make it that way in order to teach such a stubborn worthless stuck up child anything at all.
I will not be shaken anymore.
I will not neglected reality.
I will search for the answers I can't find.
God will reveal them to me after time.
Maybe by paying attention I won't have to lose everything before I gain.
Surely I tell you, I have put this misery upon myself by not paying attention to the only things that matter.
I guess I had to learn the hard way in life before I could come to that realization.
Now that I know this, I won't go back.
Lora. Jayne at 2:32 PM
4 Comments
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at Thursday, May 17, 2007
said... In the darkest night, that is when we must choose to shine. You travel on the journey, stumbling in the dark with one directive.
"When you reach the river bed, you are to collect rocks. Pick them up and carry them with you."
How foolish it seems to us. To carry rocks we cannot see in this darkness, each day if we obey, we pick up more. Sometimes we cheat a little, feel them out and choose the small ones. There are times when we are deeply, madly, in love.. and we find all the rocks we can bear. Still we journey onwards. Always carrying our bag of rocks.. always stumbling in this darkness, not understanding, but trying to follow.
"Carry your rocks."
Then one day.. we come to a gate, a gate that we know leads to home. And our bags are opened, our rocks dumped out. And we gasp, for as the rocks are polished, and ground down we realize they are precious jewels. Oh there are the small ones, the useless ones. Chaff. And it is burnt away. But those heavy rocks. The ones we suffered in the carrying. They glow and shine. Luminous. They sparkle, and in their depths are the reflections of the moments when we truly loved. Truly sacrificed. When we called in the midst of pain and rejoiced.
Each rock set in a crown of the purest ore.. each crown placed upon our heads in preparation of the greatest joy of all.. to cast our crowns before His feet...
So we collect our rocks, though others laugh and tell us we are weak. So we carry our rocks. And we cling to hope. We lift the burden, not with our strength but with the strength of He who never leaves us.. and we move towards the gate. We move towards home.-
at Sunday, June 03, 2007
said...
Lora, you're a beautiful writer. Keep it up.
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at Sunday, June 03, 2007
said...
Agreead! I luv ur writing lor! its so beautiful and so full of truth and love and hope within darkness
i lov u!!!!!!!-
at Monday, June 04, 2007
said...
Lora, you're beautiful from the inside out.
